Dedicated to the Contemplative and Mystical wisdom at the core of all traditions, including Judaism, Christianity, Sufism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, and to the core of our own mystical Heart within.
Exploring how Silence and the Contemplative Way infuse into our ordinary everyday active lives, how Awareness manifests itself, and how we can respond to the call to rest into the divinity within.

Showing posts with label Anchoring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anchoring. Show all posts

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

The Grace of Surrender






I remember first being introduced to meditation in my 20s, and for some reason, in spite of an often restless mind, I also had a strong sense that I was somehow coming home. As I persevered with my initial clumsiness, I found myself looking forward to the ceremony of sitting, allowing my restlessness to soften, and wait. What I couldn’t name at the time was the experience of Presence which then enfolded me, and drew me back in expectation for the next sitting. I also didn’t recognise at that time the seeds of self-kindness which were being sown.


Twenty years later, I look back at my younger self, and have to admire the humble innocence of a young adult finding her own way in life. I look back amazed at the disciplined practice I enjoyed then. I can still be a little restless. I suppose I am also older and hopefully a little wiser. Surrender comes easier now. Life has brought many joys and storms in the intervening years, each one cracking open the heart ever wider. Life has shown I am not in control of the vast majority of events unfolding in my life. Life has also shown that a force of gentleness and providence was with me throughout these years. The lives of my family were held and a pull towards truth, simplicity and trust was moving through us.


I realised some years ago that it was no longer possible to limit my daily practice to one or two periods of meditation, or regretfully none at all on occasion. I needed more help in the in-between times. I found I needed to reconcile the remainder of my day with the peace and serenity I felt during meditation. Slowly I noticed a inner pull towards a more contemplative way of living, the turning and surrender of each moment into prayer and devotion. This practice became a welcome anchor at difficult moments, and a celebration at times of breakthrough.


I still struggle with the discipline needed to sit in meditation and Centering Prayer. I welcome but no longer cling to the consolations which can come. I don’t always feel the strength of Presence which I felt in my younger years. I now seek to simply rest in Silence, rather than seeking a felt experience of Presence.


Though it may go against our nature, the act of surrendering is Nature itself. One moment and one season surrender into the next. The cycles of life surrender into each other. Birds and animals know this instinctively. They are led by inner rhythms dictated by Nature. We also see this graceful process unfolding in many people. They grow in wisdom and acceptance as they get older, and are often recognised by their strong sense of humour about Life's ups and downs. Surrender has made them humble and adaptable. They have witnessed many people making their final surrender from this life. They know that Life is to be lived, enjoyed and revered, moment by moment.



To welcome and to let go is one of the most radically loving, faith-filled gestures we can make in each moment of each day. It is an open-hearted embrace of all that is in ourselves and in the world.
Mary Mrozowski, Contemplative Outreach Founder


Thursday, 26 February 2015

Lead Kindly Light



Stained Glass at Mount Melleray Abbey



The Pillar of the Cloud

Lead, Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom; Lead Thou me on.
The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead Thou me on. 
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene; 
one step enough for me. 


I was not ever thus, nor pray'd that Thou shouldst lead me on; 
I loved to choose and see my path, but now lead Thou me on.
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, pride ruled my will: 
remember not past years. 


So long Your power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on, 
o'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till the night is gone; 
and with the morn those angel faces smile 
which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

John Henry Newman, at sea, 16th June 1833
Lenten Compline Hymn, Mount Melleray Abbey



I was very blessed to join in a prayerful retreat at Mount Melleray Abbey, near Cappoquin, where the above hymn was sung by the monks at the Compline office (evening prayer). It was composed by John Henry Newman in a period of turmoil, as he struggled to get home to England from Europe, and to pursue an inner pull to transform the Church. He endured loneliness, illness and a deep yearning to begin his quest, though he did not yet know what truly lay ahead for him.

I am in great gratitude for the presence of these inspiring Cistercian monks, who honour and live out their devotion to God, Love, Silence, Community and Contemplation, and allow us to join in and anchor ourselves there too. We know not what lies ahead for us, but by anchoring ourselves in the strength of our prayers, our deep inner knowing, and Silence, we invite and embody Rest.


Thursday, 29 January 2015

Thomas Merton

Thomas Merton


Thomas Merton was born on 31 January 1915. Worldwide seminars and gatherings are planned on this date and throughout this year to commemorate his centenary and honour his spiritual legacy.

Thomas Merton was born in Prades, France. His father was an artist from New Zealand, and his mother, also an artist and diarist, was American. He suffered much bereavement and isolation in his younger years, losing his mother to illness at age 6, and his father at age 15. His only sibling, a younger brother, died serving in the second world war when Thomas Merton was 28, shortly after joining the Abbey of our Lady of Gethsemani in Kentucky as a Trappist monk. He also had health troubles from time to time, and was once gravely ill with sepsis.

He had grown up with very little faith or religious training, though his father possessed a deep faith from his Church of England upbringing in New Zealand. Thomas Merton had always admired the ruins of the many monasteries surrounding him in rural France, and at the age of 18 was suddenly engrossed by a visit to the many churches and basilicas in Rome, and even remarked during his visit to a Trappist monastery there, that he would like to become a Trappist monk. Around this time also, he began a lifelong resonance with the poetry of William Blake.

He moved numerous times with his father in his early years - from France to New York, Bermuda, back to France, and then settled for a period in London. His writing endeavours began as a young teenager in a French boarding school where he wrote two novels, and continued once in London by becoming one of the editors of the school magazine. After his father died, he went through a wreckless phase partying and socialising, adjusting to his independent life, and travelling around Europe.

He attended Cambridge University under the support of his guardian, a friend of his father. He had very little sense of faith at this time, and even held the Catholic Church and institutional Church structures generally, in disdain. His guardian elected to send him back to New York in an effort to curb his excessive ways, and after he had finished his exams, he duly relocated back near his maternal grandparents and enrolled at Columbia University in New York.

 He became quite dedicated to his studies there, and had some prominent and inspiring lecturers, including Mark van Doren and Dan Walsh, who became lifelong friends. This was also a time when he began studying the philosophies and theologies of the world in great depth. He also began to truly explore Catholicism and mysticism in earnest during this time, and began to pray again. He was greatly impacted by the writings of Étienne Gilson, Gerard Manley Hopkins, CS Lewis, the lives of the saints, and meeting with lecturers and philosophers such as Jacques Maritain.

During this period, he followed a strong internal pull to join the Catholic Church, and in 1938 he was baptised and received Communion in Corpus Christi Church in New York, followed by his Confirmation there the following year. This strengthened his vocation and he began to speak to religious advisers about the prospect of joining an order and becoming a priest. Partly due to his wreckless phase in England, he was initially rejected by the Franciscans, causing him much grief. However, his faith and prayer life continued to deepen and with it the certainty that he wanted to become a priest.

Having completed his MA in English from Columbia University, he began teaching at St. Bonaventure University in New York. The University still holds a volume of Thomas Merton's materials. He also became briefly involved as a volunteer with Friendship House in Harlem, working with its founder, Catherine de Hueck, and was greatly affected by the poverty and conditions there. He was very impressed with the impact Friendship House was having, especially on the children.

In 1941 Thomas Merton went on an Easter retreat at the Abbey of Our Lady of Gethsemani in Kentucky, a Trappist Cistercian Abbey, which impacted him profoundly. He felt drawn to the Silence of the contemplative order there, in spite of the severe Trappist traditions, and finally, on 10th December that year, he arrived at the Abbey and applied to join the order. After three days in the guesthouse, Thomas Merton was accepted, and so began his monastic journey and his development as one of the world's most profound thinkers and communicators of Contemplation and spiritual wisdom. He was ordained Fr. M Louie in 1949.


It is a great thing when Christ, hidden in souls ... manifests Himself unexpectedly by an unplanned expression of His presence. Then souls light up on all sides with recognition of Him and discover Him in themselves when they did not even imagine He could be anywhere.
From The Sign of Jonas


He was a prolific writer, and has written over 60 books as well as hundreds of poems, essays, journals and letters. His autobiography, The Seven Storey Mountain, became a bestseller, and inspired many others to seek out their own vocation. Other popular works include New Seeds of Contemplation, No Man is an Island, The Secular Journal, Mystics and Zen Masters, and The Way of Chuang Tzu. There have been numerous posthumous publications and it is believed there is still an enormous body of work as yet unexamined, which will hopefully be published in the future. His topics ranged from Contemplation to monastic spirituality, interdenominational faith, peace, non-violence and civil rights. I have found his most inspiring material to be his own self-reflections in his body of personal journals, and books such as The Sign of Jonas and Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander. He is one of the most influential Catholic writers, and his relevance and inspiration in today's world is exemplified by the publication of over 40 books about him in the past two years.

A year before he died suddenly from accidental electrocution in Bangkok where he spoke at an inter-faith conference, he set up the Merton Legacy Trust, naming Bellarmine College (now University) in Louisville, Kentucky as the repository of his material. A Thomas Merton Centre was set up there in 1969 and is now located in the Library at Bellarmine University, and houses over 50,000 items in a vast collection of his written works and memorabilia. He died on 10th December 1968, exactly 27 years to the day since he entered the Abbey at Gethsemani. At that time, he was in a profound place of good health, expansion, clarity of mind, with a tremendous contemplative heart.


... the greater grace for each individual is the one God wills for him. If God wills you to die suddenly, that is a greater grace for you than any other death, because it is the one He has chosen, by His love, with all the circumstances of your life and His glory in view.
From The Sign of Jonas


He was a true academic, with the patience and determination to write to experts in all fields across the US and the world, to get the deepest possible understanding of matters philosophical, theological, psychological, religious, and linguistic. He also had skills in photography, poetry, calligraphy, drawing, and languages, and translated many manuscripts from Latin, and French.

He corresponded, researched and examined the mystical dimensions of the other world religions, including Buddhism, Zen philosophy, Sufism and Hinduism. He wrote books on Buddhism and Taoism, and many Buddhist monks were invited to visit him at the Abbey. He corresponded in writing and became friends with DT Suzuki, Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama. In 1968, having received permission from his Abbot, he embarked on an extensive Asian tour, including a visit to Dharamsala in India to meet the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama felt he had found in Merton what it meant to be a true Christian, and concluded that there were very few Christians to have as deep an understanding of Buddhism and Zen as Thomas Merton. He was fascinated to recognise the depth of spiritual experience present in these Eastern traditions, and equated it with his own. He could recognise and saw examples of the contemplative life in these traditions.

What characterised him most in his latter years was tenderness and holiness. He taught the novice monks, and strengthened a bond of brotherhood. He championed the saints - St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, The Cloud of Unknowing. He had been transformed internally from a wreckless youth to a contemplative, prayerful monk. He was quick to admit his failures. He felt tremendous pain for his failings, but through it showed his humanness and humility to re-affirm his faith, time and time again. He was very restless for many years, and battled with an internal pull to leave the Cistercians and join the Carthusians. He struggled constantly with the call to write, eventually realising his very Being, his very Peace depended on continuing to write. He understood that sanctity for him was precisely through the challenges and difficulties he faced with writing. He had many arguments with his early Abbot regarding a desire for his own Hermitage on the grounds of the Abbey. This was finally granted in his final years, and is now preserved for visitors to the Abbey. I think it is his failings and struggles which most inspire and help me, knowing that he too struggled with his weaknesses, knowing God's emptying process was taking place in him.

He warned against spiritual self-indulgence, quietism, and retreating from life. That is not contemplation. It is the bearing with life, the surrender to life as it is, day by day, and the courage to go through the challenges and joys, which allow ourselves to be utterly emptied out of our superficial exterior selves, and to finally rest in God, in Being, in Truth.


No life requires a more active or more intense formation, a more ruthless separation from dependence on exterior support, than the life of contemplation. 
From The Inner Experience


His was a fully questioned life. His experiential awareness brought him from a place of no faith, to a place of surrender, tenderness, clarity and ultimately to a place of deep love.


Photograph by John Howard Griffin

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Withdraw yourself from all care

Withdraw Yourself


Presence speaks in many wordless ways. The events of our life as they unfold are the clearest words. Life is endlessly speaking wisdom into our hearts. Life is challenging us to allow even greater ease, even greater freedom, disguised as hardship and limitation. Once allowing is allowed, it presents our deepest places yet longing for freedom, longing to be allowed. Present all to the Presence that breathes wisdom and clarity into our being. We will know what to say when the time is right.



Withdraw yourself from all care; trust not in yourself but in Him; do not be anxious or solicitous to perform great works for Him until He leads you Himself, by obedience and love and the events which His providence directs, to undertake the works He has planned for you and by which He will use you to communicate the fire of His love to other men.
Thomas Merton



Friday, 23 January 2015

A Contemplative Practice





Contemplation is a form of prayer and inner knowing. Thomas Merton calls it the intuitive grasp by which love gains certitude of God's creative and dynamic intervention in our daily life. Contemplation isn't something we do, but rather an explanation or description of how we are transformed from within. St. John of the Cross wrote about this inner transformation in The Dark Night of the Soul. We become emptied and purified by life's trials and experiences. It is in the daily, often unsure, living of our lives when we consent to this process of being transformed, that we can ultimately rest back into our true nature. Here, Wisdom grows, and we recognise ourselves. A daily Contemplative practice helps us surrender moment by moment to this process, and brings us back to Resting in God (St. Gregory The Great).


In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.

If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.
St. John of the Cross.



Here are some contemplative practices which help to stay anchored in the Heart:
  1. Exercise every day, even if it is a short 15 minute walk. The body needs it.
  2. Get out into nature, or at least let your eyes visit it. Nature knows balance.
  3. Have a moment of prolonged silence. Practice meditation or meditative movement. Plan a retreat to immerse deeper into Silence.
  4. Develop the ability to hear intuitively. Practice listening and receiving. Surrendering is allowing situations to be as they are. Active times move seamlessly into times of retreat and then forward again into action. Move and respond to this rhythm.
  5. Let music feed your Spirit.
  6. There is a season for everything. Allow things and people to ebb and flow.
  7. Know yourself. Forgive your flaws and habitual reactions - they'll probably always be with you. Contemplation brings them to rest. Allow others to have their flaws.
  8. Laugh, a lot.
  9. Love. Someone at rest with themselves can love easily.
  10. Be willing to grieve how little you know, how little power you have, how misunderstood you can be, how painful your circumstances can become. This is purification - the dark night of the soul. Grief transforms into a deep peace and inner knowing.
  11. Know what anchors you and brings you inner Rest. Consent to it.
  12. Read sacred enlightened texts daily. Remember and recognise Truth.
  13. Consent to Spirit/God/Presence within. This is Contemplative Prayer. You are being prayed into Being.



Start thinking about a practice you can manage. Contemplation invites you to make anchoring your practice, and then do it continually. There is no success, no failure. By allowing the current moment to be as it is, Rest is welcomed. You are home.



Monday, 29 December 2014

Polarity - Centredness and Collywobbles


Contemplation recommended for severe cases.



I have been having a mild to moderate dose of the Collywobbles over the past week or so! This is a combination of many factors including Christmas joy, overindulging, social gatherings, lack of routine, little or no precious quiet time, and the ongoing internal noise which flares up from time to time and becomes a little louder. I am looking forward to a reprieve over the next few hopefully uneventful, unplanned days. Guilty at times of swinging from being slightly slothful to overactive, the longing to return to a sense of balance and centredness is very strong.

So what gives us the collywobbles? Loneliness or too much company, feeling under or over-confident, misunderstanding others or being misunderstood, hunger or overindulging, planning ahead expectantly or with dread, being too busy or being a sloth, being too externalised or too self-absorbed, being a fun-addict or being too serious. All these polarities swing from one extreme to the other, and we usually experience both ends at some stage. Collywobbles also come about by worrying about the future, difficulties in relationships, financial strains, starting a new job or a new project, going on a trip, hosting and entertaining, stepping out to perform on-stage, doing an exam, weddings and funerals, birthdays and anniversaries, having a holiday, and basically anything that brings you out of your normal routine. Collywobbles also arise unexpectedly, and perhaps cause a deeper feeling of crisis, when life itself initiates uninvited change through job losses, relationship break-ups, bereavements, illnesses, accidents, or other significant life events.

It happens to all of us. We can become nervous, anxious, angry, resentful, demanding, controlling, silent, defeatist, clingy, despairing, or just have a million thoughts buzzing around in our heads. We can even get headaches, bodyaches, and an urge to withdraw or crawl under the covers for a few hours. How do we return to a state of balance in spite of being collywobbled?

It's really important to know where or what helps you to become centred. For me, I seem to find quiet time alone, writing, reading inspiring material, and being in nature to be natural antidotes to the Collywobbles, and where my Spirit finds rest. I also practice Meditation, T'ai Chi and Qi Gong, though I am guilty at times of foregoing these reliable practices when life speeds up or becomes very challenging and demanding. Isn't it amazing how we can neglect the very practices which are especially beneficial at such demanding times, favouring instead to revert to the old habitual patterns of worry, anxiety, mentally figuring it all out, or whatever our preferred brand of "fixing the situation" involves.

Meditation (e.g. Mindfulness, Loving Kindness, and Centering Prayer taught by Fr. Thomas Keating) and meditative movement such as Qi Gong, T'ai Chi, Yoga, Aikido and Dance, really help to ground us, to lift and change our energy. We get out of our heads. For some, going for a long walk, sitting by the sea, engaging in a favourite hobby or activity, playing/listening to music, sharing your heart with a good friend or family member, or enjoying a lovely meal with people you feel comfortable with, all act as centering activities. Everyone feels natural in some environment.

Having the Collywobbles brings with it an insatiable need to understand what caused them and above all, to fix them and return to being centred at all costs. This urgency can make us prematurely judge others as being to blame for our discomfort. We replay conversations in our heads, we imagine outcomes hoped for in the future, we think back over past errors and difficulties. We are not here.

Contemplation tells us that all of this activity is related to our external self, as Thomas Merton called it. It reminds us of the wisdom that this activity does not impact our inner Self. It reminds us also that whatever is presenting to us is ultimately desiring freedom, rest and balance. Contemplation pulls us back into the realisation that there is divine Presence in all and every circumstance, and our lives are divinely led.

Do not rush yourself out of the Collywobbles. They too carry untold wisdom. In them, we find our limits and our weak points in our external self, and in the external world. They humble us to know we are very little. Their intensity arises a prayer within us seeking to relax back into our true and inner Self. They open the door to inner surrender. They make us stop. The very nature of the external world is restlessness and change, and if unexamined, can busy us compulsively.



In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!
I have overcome the world
.  
John 16:33.



Each new dose of Collywobbles reminds me that I have become over-engaged with the external world to the detriment of my real Self. I need to turn inwards to Contemplation. For me, Contemplative practice is like an anchor - the anchor of home, right here in this moment. In terms of the Collywobbles, this anchor might simply be to Allow them. Anchoring might look like this:



Pause
Notice you have a dose of the Collywobbles/Anxiety/Anger/Grief/External focus.
Realise you are in a bit of a mental spin. Let this awareness really sink in. Investigate it. Interview it.
Come into a place of somehow allowing the Collywobbles.
Come into your body. Follow your breath and connect physically or energetically with your belly.
This is what is present, for now. This is allowing the reality of now.
Let Presence also be present.




Allowing the Collywobbles, opens more space around them, calms your mental energy, and strengthens the objective Observer capacity within you. This is one of the main trainings in Mindfulness. Once you practice taking a step back from the intensity of the content of the Collywobbles, you can see them more like mental or energetic knots. The act of allowing them, or even very reluctantly admitting their presence, begins to unravel the knots and allows the containment to free up. We do not even need to know what it's all about, only that we feel knotted up, and we are admitting to that. Allowing the reality of the current moment to be as it is, turns our focus from the external to the internal, and we become receptive to Presence, and pave the way for any wisdom or insights. This contemplative practice of anchoring, allowing, and becoming aware of Presence becomes an ongoing meditation practice. It brings us back to our centre.



“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
Lao Tzu



Apart from the Collywobbles causing at times some very intense mental and emotional discomfort, in the contemplative tradition, contradictions and situations in flux are natural. They present opportunities which challenge us to surrender to divinity even deeper places within us which distract us, or keep our focus away from our true nature. It is the dying off of the old parts of us, of our external habits and of the places we go in crisis. More and more, we may find ourselves in situations which are as yet incomplete, in progress, or unresolved. Contemplative experiences cultivate tolerance for these in-between times and spaces, encouraging us to persevere and be patient until a situation becomes resolved, or we finally know what is the next action required of us. Somehow, this too is allowed. Polarities are never who you really are. They arise. They pass. The true inner Self is centred. Contemplation pulls us inward to recognise the constancy of God's gentle unravelling of us into our true nature.



My Kingdom is not of this world.
John 18.36


Image courtesy of historicromance.wordpress.com 

Saturday, 13 December 2014

Be Yourself





This sign jumped out at me recently as I saw it outside a shop window. Ah! The relief of being ourselves. The comfort and happiness within when we are sitting naturally in our own skin.

We all have natural affiliations, gifts and tendencies, as well as personalities. Some of us are sprinters, some are long-distance athletes. Some of us are leaders, some encourage from within the ranks. Some run companies, others help unnoticed. Some are parents, some aren't. Some others devote their time to life's work and experience, others travel. Some are rich, poor, or somewhere in between. Some yearn to discover constant newness, others enjoy routine.

Some of us are chronically ill, some are hungry, tired. Some of us are in tremendous pain, others don't know this. Some of us are struggling, others are having breakthroughs. Some are despairing, others are allowing help to penetrate them. Some are calm, others are anxious. Some people are living in a war zone, others are peacefully unaware.

Some of us can read maps. Some of us can actually park a car! Some can bake the greatest cake on earth without even looking at a recipe. Some of us play music, some of us can hear it. Some of us can cajole and encourage. Some bring rest. Some can understand we are carrying a load, and some can lighten our load. Some allow us to have bad days, some allow themselves to have bad days. Some can inspire, some can teach, some of us can receive. Some can welcome. Some can fight for justice, some can forgive. Some of us are motivated, some others lethargic.

Some of us startle easily, some of us are restless. Some of us want to hide, some want to be seen. Some of us are larger than life, some of us are invisible. Some of us have endless doubt, some find faith in spite of it. Some of us are light-hearted, some of us wish we were.

We all get lost from time to time. We are all of the above, some of the time. Contemplation reveals our external world is always on the verge of entering a new phase of change, or just coming out of one. Some of us catalyse change, some of us soothe the effects of change. Some challenge, some accept. We need both.

The seasons of life bring inevitable change, but our inner natural Way is constant, like the background behind the changing landscape. A tree is always a tree, in spite of witnessing 4 seasons every year. It is deeply rooted. It is aware of a natural order occurring around it throughout the year. It does not cling to one season over another, wishing to prolong the summer, or prematurely end the winter. The Flow of Life knows what it is doing. The tree yields and bends with this Flow.

Where is our natural habitat? Outdoors in nature or in the middle of the busy urban environment? Meeting with a group of friends or family or walking silently though a quiet forest or by the deafening sea? Are we happier reading or talking, moving or stationary? Are we gardeners or designers? Are we builders or supporters? Are we teachers or students? Are we visionaries or conservationists? Are we old or young? Are we different or are we the same? Are we fresher in the morning or at night? What is our rhythm? How well do we know our natural Way? What do we need to come home to ourselves? What balances us and brings true contentment? Can we relax into our natural Way?

Know Yourself, and Be That - it's not only impossible, but exhausting, trying to be other than this. Find your roots. You are planted deeper than the seasonal changes of life. The Contemplative Way seeks to anchor you there.




"Go deeper than love, for the soul has greater depths,
love is like the grass, but the heart is deep wild rock
molten, yet dense and permanent.
Go down to your deep old heart, and lose sight of yourself."
 

From "Know Thyself, Know Thyself More Deeply"
D.H. Lawrence