Practice

I watch people in the world 

Throw away their lives lusting after things, 

Never able to satisfy their desires, 

Falling into deeper despair 

And torturing themselves. 

Even if they get what they want 

How long will they be able to enjoy it? 

For one heavenly pleasure 

They suffer ten torments of hell, 

Binding themselves more firmly to the grindstone. 

Such people are like monkeys 

Frantically grasping for the moon in the water 

And then falling into a whirlpool. 

How endlessly those caught up in the floating world suffer. 

Despite myself, I fret over them all night 

And cannot staunch my flow of tears. 

Ryokan

Like one of Ryokan's monkeys, I can catch myself engaged in confused frantic actions, with the mind fixed tightly in some automatic or repetitive thinking mode. It is rarely restful, sometimes creative and excited, but all too often it returns to an ingrained habit of anxiety and restlessness. It is also the strongest reminder that I am making restlessness my practice - Oops, there I go again, worrying about whether the oven is off.... Did I manage to send that email? ... I wish my colleague and I got on better.... Is that a flu coming on?

We can find a tremendous process for transformation using a Contemplative Practice. We find a practice which brings us home. We might even come to accept that it may never be possible to prevent these momentary states of mind from arising. We are human, after all. That's nature being natural. However, we also come to know that these are passing states of mind, alluding to passing triggers and circumstances, in a world which is forever changing. The moon is not in the water. Planting ourselves here will not make us happy, safe or content.

You must rise above

the gloomy clouds

covering the mountaintop

otherwise, how will you

ever see the brightness?

Ryokan

It is in the practice of relying on our deepest Knowing, of being comfortable with Unknowing, that we come home to ourselves. We come to know we were always home all along, we just didn't recognise the house or the neighbours' cat.

The only true joy on earth is to escape from the prison of our own false self, and enter by love into union with the Life Who dwells and sings within the essence of every creature and in the core of our own souls...

Thomas Merton

When our own words fail us, when our understanding falls short, we lean on those who can remind us of Silence, Beingness, Presence, of our true nature in the depths of each moment. The continuous sinking back into Silence needs to be our primary practice.

You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.

Rumi

Gardening Wisdom

Gardening is cheaper than therapy, and you get tomatoes.

Anonymous

Mindfulness is a practice which has become greatly accessible to people of all traditions and faiths. Often sought as a remedy for excess mind activity and turbulent emotions, many people don't quite know why they are drawn to it - they just know they feel more balanced, centred and happy by having this practice in their lives. Mindfulness teaches the fundamentals of meditation and of present-moment awareness.

This practice is of immense value as it teaches us self-awareness - we become aware of our habitual patterns of thought. We begin to see how much of our day is taken up with worries, stress and ruminating over situations past or future. It reminds us to bring our awareness back to our immediate current situation, our immediate activity, surroundings and bodily sensations. It trains us to create an internal anchor such as the breath or anchored awareness of our body in the immediate moment. This action of continually returning to present-moment awareness is meditation, it is mindfulness.

By locating our attention on our immediate surroundings, we are dropping an anchor into the deepest and calmest part of the ocean. It steadies our erratic movements, and gives us a chance to look around and get our bearings. Present-moment awareness is naturally calm and it slows and soothes both mind and emotions. Because of our deepening self-awareness, we come to know ourselves very well. Dedicated practice over time habituates us to fresh moment-by-moment awareness, and centres us in our true nature. Through longer and more focussed meditation practice, we learn to recognise ourselves, and learn to recognise Presence. 

Take a look at a gardener at work, or anyone who works physically with their hands. A rhythm comes upon them and a natural ease in their movements. They are not in a rush. Years have taught them that there will be more weeds tomorrow, so they just do what they can today. They witness their thoughts and bodies relaxing as they focus fully on the work. They always pause to look around the whole garden as a complete entity, to search for ideas and inspiration for the next season's planting, and to decide what needs pruning later in the autumn.

They always take time to stop at their favourite flower in bloom. They take time to smell the roses, to water the dry patches, to tend the seedlings, to thin out the carrots, to rub the cat that loves visiting her owner in this space. They see which plants are struggling and which ones are taking over, and they have no problem pruning and removing plants, and relegating them to the compost heap. They know the overall garden rhythm. It is all natural.

Some days, they will even go out and attack the garden with tools and clippers with a whole load of steam built up inside. After an hour, the higher balance of nature will have exhausted them, and unleashed their steam. They return to themselves. Even as the gardener is slowed by age and arthritis, they know every inch of this familiar landscape, and find a spot to sit where Presence is loud, and the heart becomes still.

Any practice that brings us home to ourselves is a gift to be cherished and an activity to pursue with priority for all our days. This is effortless mindfulness. We may go for another round of golf, another choir practice, a music gig, a leisurely walk or run in the park, T'ai Chi, or some Meditation or Centering Prayer - whatever brings us home. We all benefit when we are around people who know themselves deeply, know and practise their divine practice, and share Presence by their presence. 

We spend our lives hurrying away from the real, as though it were deadly to us. "It must be up there somewhere on the horizon," we think. And all the time it is in the soil, right beneath our feet.

William Bryant Logan, Dirt: The Ecstatic Skin of the Earth

A Contemplative Practice

Contemplation is a form of prayer and inner knowing. Thomas Merton calls it the intuitive grasp by which love gains certitude of God's creative and dynamic intervention in our daily life. Contemplation isn't something we do, but rather an explanation or description of how we are transformed from within. St. John of the Cross wrote about this inner transformation in The Dark Night of the Soul. We become emptied and purified by life's trials and experiences. It is in the daily, often unsure, living of our lives when we consent to this process of being transformed, that we can ultimately rest back into our true nature. Here, Wisdom grows, and we recognise ourselves. A daily Contemplative practice helps us surrender moment by moment to this process, and brings us back to Resting in God (St. Gregory The Great).

In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.

If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.

St. John of the Cross.

Here are some contemplative practices which help to stay anchored in the Heart:

1. Exercise every day, even if it is a short 15 minute walk. The body needs it.
2. Get out into nature, or at least let your eyes visit it. Nature knows balance.
3. Have a moment of prolonged silence. Practice meditation or meditative movement. Plan a retreat to immerse deeper into Silence.
4. Develop the ability to hear intuitively. Practice listening and receiving. Surrendering is allowing situations to be as they are. Active times move seamlessly into times of retreat and then forward again into action. Move and respond to this rhythm.
5. Let music feed your Spirit.
6. There is a season for everything. Allow things and people to ebb and flow.
7. Know yourself. Forgive your flaws and habitual reactions - they'll probably always be with you. Contemplation brings them to rest. Allow others to have their flaws.
8. Laugh, a lot.
9. Love. Someone at rest with themselves can love easily.
10. Be willing to grieve how little you know, how little power you have, how misunderstood you can be, how painful your circumstances can become. This is purification - the dark night of the soul. Grief transforms into a deep peace and inner knowing.
11. Know what anchors you and brings you inner Rest. Consent to it.
12. Read sacred enlightened texts daily. Remember and recognise Truth.
13. Consent to Spirit/God/Presence within. This is Contemplative Prayer. You are being prayed into Being.

Start thinking about a practice you can manage. Contemplation invites you to make anchoring your practice, and then do it continually. There is no success, no failure. By allowing the current moment to be as it is, Rest is welcomed. You are home.

Polarity - Centredness and Collywobbles

Contemplation recommended for severe cases.



I have been having a mild to moderate dose of the Collywobbles over the past week or so! This is a combination of many factors including Christmas joy, overindulging, social gatherings, lack of routine, little or no precious quiet time, and the ongoing internal noise which flares up from time to time and becomes a little louder. I am looking forward to a reprieve over the next few hopefully uneventful, unplanned days. Guilty at times of swinging from being slightly slothful to overactive, the longing to return to a sense of balance and centredness is very strong.

So what gives us the collywobbles? Loneliness or too much company, feeling under or over-confident, misunderstanding others or being misunderstood, hunger or overindulging, planning ahead expectantly or with dread, being too busy or being a sloth, being too externalised or too self-absorbed, being a fun-addict or being too serious. All these polarities swing from one extreme to the other, and we usually experience both ends at some stage. Collywobbles also come about by worrying about the future, difficulties in relationships, financial strains, starting a new job or a new project, going on a trip, hosting and entertaining, stepping out to perform on-stage, doing an exam, weddings and funerals, birthdays and anniversaries, having a holiday, and basically anything that brings you out of your normal routine. Collywobbles also arise unexpectedly, and perhaps cause a deeper feeling of crisis, when life itself initiates uninvited change through job losses, relationship break-ups, bereavements, illnesses, accidents, or other significant life events.

It happens to all of us. We can become nervous, anxious, angry, resentful, demanding, controlling, silent, defeatist, clingy, despairing, or just have a million thoughts buzzing around in our heads. We can even get headaches, bodyaches, and an urge to withdraw or crawl under the covers for a few hours. How do we return to a state of balance in spite of being collywobbled?

It's really important to know where or what helps you to become centred. For me, I seem to find quiet time alone, writing, reading inspiring material, and being in nature to be natural antidotes to the Collywobbles, and where my Spirit finds rest. I also practice Meditation, T'ai Chi and Qi Gong, though I am guilty at times of foregoing these reliable practices when life speeds up or becomes very challenging and demanding. Isn't it amazing how we can neglect the very practices which are especially beneficial at such demanding times, favouring instead to revert to the old habitual patterns of worry, anxiety, mentally figuring it all out, or whatever our preferred brand of "fixing the situation" involves.

Meditation (e.g. Mindfulness, Loving Kindness, and Centering Prayer taught by Fr. Thomas Keating) and meditative movement such as Qi Gong, T'ai Chi, Yoga, Aikido and Dance, really help to ground us, to lift and change our energy. We get out of our heads. For some, going for a long walk, sitting by the sea, engaging in a favourite hobby or activity, playing/listening to music, sharing your heart with a good friend or family member, or enjoying a lovely meal with people you feel comfortable with, all act as centering activities. Everyone feels natural in some environment.

Having the Collywobbles brings with it an insatiable need to understand what caused them and above all, to fix them and return to being centred at all costs. This urgency can make us prematurely judge others as being to blame for our discomfort. We replay conversations in our heads, we imagine outcomes hoped for in the future, we think back over past errors and difficulties. We are not here.

Contemplation tells us that all of this activity is related to our external self, as Thomas Merton called it. It reminds us of the wisdom that this activity does not impact our inner Self. It reminds us also that whatever is presenting to us is ultimately desiring freedom, rest and balance. Contemplation pulls us back into the realisation that there is divine Presence in all and every circumstance, and our lives are divinely led.

Do not rush yourself out of the Collywobbles. They too carry untold wisdom. In them, we find our limits and our weak points in our external self, and in the external world. They humble us to know we are very little. Their intensity arises a prayer within us seeking to relax back into our true and inner Self. They open the door to inner surrender. They make us stop. The very nature of the external world is restlessness and change, and if unexamined, can busy us compulsively.

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!
I have overcome the world.  

John 16:33.

Each new dose of Collywobbles reminds me that I have become over-engaged with the external world to the detriment of my real Self. I need to turn inwards to Contemplation. For me, Contemplative practice is like an anchor - the anchor of home, right here in this moment. In terms of the Collywobbles, this anchor might simply be to Allow them. Anchoring might look like this:



Pause
Notice you have a dose of the Collywobbles/Anxiety/Anger/Grief/External focus.
Realise you are in a bit of a mental spin. Let this awareness really sink in. Investigate it. Interview it.
Come into a place of somehow allowing the Collywobbles.
Come into your body. Follow your breath and connect physically or energetically with your belly.
This is what is present, for now. This is allowing the reality of now.
Let Presence also be present.




Allowing the Collywobbles, opens more space around them, calms your mental energy, and strengthens the objective Observer capacity within you. This is one of the main trainings in Mindfulness. Once you practice taking a step back from the intensity of the content of the Collywobbles, you can see them more like mental or energetic knots. The act of allowing them, or even very reluctantly admitting their presence, begins to unravel the knots and allows the containment to free up. We do not even need to know what it's all about, only that we feel knotted up, and we are admitting to that. Allowing the reality of the current moment to be as it is, turns our focus from the external to the internal, and we become receptive to Presence, and pave the way for any wisdom or insights. This contemplative practice of anchoring, allowing, and becoming aware of Presence becomes an ongoing meditation practice. It brings us back to our centre.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 

Lao Tzu

Apart from the Collywobbles causing at times some very intense mental and emotional discomfort, in the contemplative tradition, contradictions and situations in flux are natural. They present opportunities which challenge us to surrender to divinity even deeper places within us which distract us, or keep our focus away from our true nature. It is the dying off of the old parts of us, of our external habits and of the places we go in crisis. More and more, we may find ourselves in situations which are as yet incomplete, in progress, or unresolved. Contemplative experiences cultivate tolerance for these in-between times and spaces, encouraging us to persevere and be patient until a situation becomes resolved, or we finally know what is the next action required of us. Somehow, this too is allowed. Polarities are never who you really are. They arise. They pass. The true inner Self is centred. Contemplation pulls us inward to recognise the constancy of God's gentle unravelling of us into our true nature.

My Kingdom is not of this world.

John 18.36

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